Krystal and Fox's Bad Little Habit
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: Fox and Krystal start smoking more often, but over time, and after much pestering from Slippy, they decide they need to call it quits so they can live long happy lives together. Contains some Fox X Krystal stuff. Rated T.


One day Fox and Krystal were sitting on the couch together, aboard the Great Fox, when suddenly Fox noticed a small and cute little compact box. Then he glanced up at Krystal, and picked up an interesting scent, and it definitely wasn't incense left over from when Slippy celebrated Lent.

"Oh holy fricking star ships in heaven! You're smoking again?" asked Fox, as he nervously shook. "Can I have a pack? Just one, okay? Don't give me that look!".

"You're imagining things Fox!" said Krystal with glee. "Of course you can have a pack, this one's on me! Just keep in mind to only do this in fanfics that are rated T!"

"Oh yeah, Krystal, that's definitely a deal! Now hand me a lighter, and my sunglasses of steel!" said Fox.

"Here's your lighter, my king!" said Krystal. "And here's your sunglasses that make you look like your dad, but I'll let you in on a secret, I think they look rad!"

"I do too!" said Fox, as he smoked his first puff. "I look really macho, like I'm tough stuff!". Then suddenly Falco came into the room, along with Slippy, holding a dustpan and broom.

"I'm cleaning up the Great Fox, of its dust and mold! I know no boundaries, for I am quite bold!" said Slippy. Falco groaned.

"Give it a rest Slippy, I'm not into spring cleaning! And even though I'm a jerk, I'm actually well meaning!" said Falco. Then Slippy picked up on some secondhand smoke, it affected him so badly, he felt like he was about to croak.

"Fox and his girlfriend are smoking! I can't take it Falco! I'm about to gag! This is the worst thing since Gears of War 2 internet play lag!" said Slippy.

"What? I like the smell of nicotine! At least it isn't nitroglycerine!" said Falco.

"Hmm, well I'm gonna clean up the ashes on the floor that missed the tray! In the meantime, Falco, don't you have a baby bird egg to lay?" said Slippy.

"No Slippy, I don't, cuz I'm not a girl! Let's stop teasing each other, god damn it, you look like you're about to hurl!" exclaimed Falco in a somber tone. Fox and Krystal apologized, and told Falco and Slippy to leave them alone.

"We're just having fun!" said Fox who was laughing. "And with all of Lylat's war and bloodshed, that's something that is lacking!," he added.

"Okay, well have fun you too! I'm gonna go upstairs to the hot tub, while you watch Captain Kangaroo!" said Falco.

"Hey, maybe Katt can join you, too!" said Slippy, teasing Falco in a jovial way.

"Oh knock it off Slippy, you're just a frog! Stick to the pond, go sit on a log!" said Falco, as he and Slippy left the room.

Krystal and Fox were smoking their fifth, when Fox turned on the TV, and switched the channel to some yiff.

So finally, when Fox and Krystal were almost down to the last pack, Falco and Slippy, well, guess what? They came back! But things in the living room were kind of hot and heavy, and the action wasn't stopping, Fox and Krystal were ready!

"Woah, you two look like you need privacy! Sorry!" said Slippy. So they left.

Later in the day….

"Well, you two certainly seem like a perfect match! No smoking puns intended, but when you're in love, how will you ever take down enemies for cash?" asked Slippy.

"I'll retire and marry the love of my life! It'll be the end of all the war and strife!" said Fox. Slippy laughed.

"That's a good idea, actually! But I want both of you to live a long life! You have to quit smoking, it's as deadly as a knife!" said Slippy.

"I'm the naughty one, Fox is only a beginner! I'm training him in the ways of a sinner!" said Krystal jokingly.

"So you're addicted to smoking?" inquired Falco.

"Well, not quite. But it's bloody good, I enjoy it, alright?" replied Krystal.

"Krystal, you're a really sweet nice lady! I hate to see you go to the dark side, it's crazy!" said Slippy.

"Come now, Slippy, lots of fine people smoke. Look at General Pepper, you have to love that old bloke!" said Krystal.

"But it's bad for your health, and causes longue cancer to boot! And just think if you were pregnant, that wouldn't be good!" said Slippy.

"Fox and I will quit at the appropriate time! Now, for the fruit juice to mix with our wine, Fox, darling, will it be Kiwi or Lime?" asked Krystal.

"Make it Kiwi!" said Fox. And so they did. Then they proposed a toast, that they would quit on Tuesday of the following week. But when Tuesday came, things looked rather bleak.

"My breathing doesn't feel right, I need to quit! Fox, we must throw away our cigarettes, and call it quits! Right down to the little butts and bits!"

"Yeah, I agree! Although, we look sexy when we smoke, don't we?" said Fox.

"Yeah, we did! But now it's over, ok? The author of this story is meant to write healthy fanfics for the worlds children, let's keep it that way!" said Krystal. So Fox and Krystal reduced their cigarettes to ashes. And they got married six days later, and Krystal gave herself longer eyelashes!

AND SLIPPY CREATED A NICOTINE SUBSTITUTE IN HIS LAB! With help from Beltino Toad! And Fox liked it cuz it tasted of cheese, and Krystal liked it cuz it tasted of chocolate!

The End, sort of, whatever.


End file.
